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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?